I’ve moved!

You can now find my homepage at johncollison.ie. My blog has moved there as well. You’ll probably need to update your feed reader because wordpress.com doesn’t allow a custom feed url :(

All kitted up

For Dublin on Saturday:

Yes, that is sellotape.

Frisco, redux

Coming back to San Francisco makes me think I should never have left it. Stepping out onto the street, I found the city basking in glorious sunshine. You can’t help but be happy here.

After dropping stuff to the hotel, I decided to go to one of the best places to eat ever – Pluto’s. San Francisco is the kind of place where you choose to walk this two miles rather than use the ridiculously good public transport (50c to anywhere!) because it’s just so damn enjoyable. Walking down Van Ness though, I realised that the city didn’t just become eclectic and awesome spontanously. It’s the people who live here who give it this vibe. With this realisation, I decided to contribute however I could. I took out my harmonica and harped away as I strolled towards Lombard. It feels like you’re in a movie as you peddle your blues while leaning against a lamppost, waiting to cross the street.

Went to Starbucks this morning. Americans really are funny with their coffee. Turned up at 8.30 – bad time to come. The guy in front of me ordered a quad venti – a drink with a quadruple shot of espresso. Shouldn’t you need a prescription for that? I then mistakenly took another guy’s drink and ended up with – I’m not joking – a tall non-fat hazelnut soy latte. I’m pretty sure there’s so much crap in there that they don’t bother actually adding any coffee. The lead story on my SF Chronicle was Americans bitching about $4 per gallon for gas. Poor things have obviously never been to Ireland ($7.50/gal) or Britain ($8.50/gal).

Speaking of price comparisons, everything seems so affordable with the current dollar rate. I’m going to encourage Tommy to invest in a house here with his Confirmation money.

Saturday project

A few days ago I bought a harmonica for all of 8 euro. Of course, the real way to play it is with the guitar (like this guy). So:

The difference between Bebo and Facebook

Just came across this browsing earlier, sums it up brilliantly. In matters relating to tea:

Facebook group:
 

Bebo group:
 

Who needs an AppleTV?

We got a new (HD!) telly which has a VGA port, so I finally got to hook up my new Linux media server: Of course, I didn’t just leave the various parts strewn around: Nice and neat. Note the special enclosure design to allow maximum airflow: And a closeup: Clever design allows all the parts to fit in the basket. Well-placed Vodafone box stops the power supply’s metal case short circuiting all the twiddly bits on the motherboard. Overall layout: All in all the project was a great success. I envisage many uses:

•  Media hub
• Modern art
• Fire hazard
• Tux Racer console
• Accident waiting to happen

Irish comprehension of the week

Here. Patrick has made it big! Some would say I had an unfair advantage in class today.

Plank’s constant

Plank’s constant is a constant used to describe the time you must allow for delays when planning. It is the multiple you must use to compensate for people acting the plank and doing things like taking two car keys or posting your runners to Canada.

5th year – one month in

Long time, no post. So I’ve pretty much finished working on Auctomatic since August, and gone back to finish my education :)

Impressions of subjects so far: 

English: Much more fun than Junior Cert. Have a ninja teacher. Macbeth is gripping.

Irish: Improved vastly since I got a new teacher.

Maths: Easy and mostly enjoyable. Most interesting occurence so far has been school asking students to get new fancy Casio calculators, which can handle algebra and fractions. This of course means they refuse to give answers as decimals. Result? 7 * root 3 = 7 root 3. 2 pi = 2 pi. Many frustrations ensue.

Spanish: Would be great if they didn’t keep it at a 2nd year level. Why not just throw us in at the deep end and we’ll learn more? Example: the teacher speaks English rather than Spanish to us. I mean come on!

Physics: Currently covering stuff we’ve done to much more depth in Applied Maths, so I doze through most classes. Ask me again in a month.

Chemistry: More learning than I had anticipated. It also turns out JC chemistry told us many, many lies and half-truths. Have concluded giving squirty bottles, fire or acid (or all three) to students of any age is a risky idea.

History: Didn’t think I could enjoy this as much as I am. Course is fascinating (Bismarck ftw!), a four page essay is almost an enjoyable task. I’ve started comparing friends to 19th century diplomats subconsciously.

Applied Maths: The intersection of Maths and Fun. It’s like they took what you knew in maths, and made cool problems for your enjoyment. They of course left out all the ugly, messy stuff like trigonometry. It’s kind of annoying though when you remember that none of your calculations will ever be right because of that prick air resistance.

Design and Communication Graphics (i.e. dressed-up Tech Drawing): New course has 40% for a SolidWorks (CAD) project. SolidWorks is surprisingly easy to pick up and looks great. Most of my computer time I’m not actually working, just rotating my piece and watching the light bounce off it.

All in all, being back at school’s pretty enjoyable. Doing other stuff like student politics, debating, chess etc. on the side. Life is good.

Hungarian tourist board faces fake shark accusation

Dad brought a page of the Budapest Times back from Hungary for me to read. Couldn’t help posting it. Ireland definitely needs more reporters like this.

Montenegro shark “Hungarian ruse”

Hungarian Tourist Board operatives have been dressing up as sharks and patrolling seaside resorts in Montenegro in an effort to encourage tourists to holiday at Lake Balaton, the Montenegrin government alleged last week.

Sharks have been sighted off the coast of the popular holiday destination over the last few weeks, leading in one case to a lifeguard – who witnesses say looked a lot like Baywatch’s David Hasselhoff except in tighter shorts – frantically ordering people out of the water. However, government spokesman Slobodan Mladic claimed the “sharks” were nothing of the sort.

Something fishy in the wate

“We have credible information that Zsolt Zoltán, a local employee of the Hungarian Tourist Board and well-known agitator for affordable weekend breaks at Lake Balaton, is responsible,” said Mladic. “We believe he has in fact fashioned a shark fin using empty cereal boxes, sticky-backed plastic and some model aircraft paint, strapped it to his back and taken to snorkelling around the beaches. He is clearly trying to scare people into holidaying in Hungary.”

Mladic produced records showing that Zoltán had rented out all three Jaws movies from the local video store in the week preceding the first shark sighting. “This clearly proves that Zoltán was researching how to fake a shark attack,” said Mladic. “I’m not sure which Jaws film it was in – probably the first one, as the other two were rubbish and I fell asleep during them – but I distinctly remember a scene where a teenager pretends to be a shark to frighten some large-breasted girls into having sex with him.”

“I think he then gets his leg bitten off, but I suppose that’s not relevant,” Mladic continued.

Zoltán denied the allegations, saying that he did not have to go to such lengths to attract people to Balaton: “With its crystal-clear waters, top-class accommodation, wonderful food and copious amounts of women in tiny thongs, Balaton is clearly a holiday destination that needs no promotion. Just look at the beautiful pictures in this free flyer.”

Zoltán just a pervert, not agent

Zoltán did admit to renting out the Jaws trilogy, but said that he simply got a perverse kick out of watching monsters kill people in increasingly gratuitous, pointless and bloody ways.

“I also rented out Friday the Thirteenth last week, but that doesn’t mean I’m planning on donning a hockey mask and brutally butchering holidaymakers with various sharp implements in an attempt to create a mass exodus from the shabby, poor quality Montenegrin resorts to the paradise that is Balaton,” he said. “Having said that, there is a good deal on chainsaws down at the local DIY store.”

Original article at the Budapest Times